=========================================================================== Archive Maintainer : N/A Update to : N/A Advanced engine needed : ZDoom Primary purpose : Single+Coop play =========================================================================== Title : XASER'S SHiTWADS! Filename : Swads_X.wad Release date : 1-17-04 Author : The Masters of Insanity (See below for more info) Email Address : E-Mail me (Xaser) at xaser_88@hotmail.com if you have any questions. Other Files By Author : Uh... This is our first work together as a group, but I (Xaser) Have made a few other wads. Just look for anything ending in _X or go to my homepage at www.geocities.com/xaser_88/main for links to all of my works. Misc. Author Info : The Masters of Insanity is a group consisting of 3 members (as of the time of writing), Xaser, Trinity, and Taranis. This is our first work together as a group, but look for more from us soon! Description : XASER'S SHiTWADS is a set of ten levels (+1 secret) However, the thing about these levels is that they are all kind of "Joke Maps". Some are old levels that have been "touched up" a little, while some others were made brand-new for the occasion. The "jokes" of the maps vary from level to level. Some are fairly normal (for a while, at least), some have silly ideas behind them, while others are just plain bad (yet in a silly and messed-up kind of way). Anyway, this level set isn't to be taken seriously, so don't start griping about texture mis-alignments and other obvious errors. :P Additional Credits to : The people who made MOCK2, for inspiration. Yes, I know people will probably gripe about me because this is kind of similar to MOCK2, but oh well. =========================================================================== * STORY * Once upon a time there were 2 guys named Jim and Bob. One day, Bob was taking a shower and Jim was brushing his teeth and Bob said "Hey, can you pass the soap?" and Jim said "What do I looke like, a chair?". Then, Bob gets really mad and pulls a rocket launcher out of nowhere (actually from behind a big rock) and blows Jim into pieces. Then, after he realizes what he's done, Bob steals an airplane in order to escape from the wrath of King George. However, he didn't know how to fly a plane so he crashed somewhere in southern Kansas. He got out of the wreckage and sees a house. He starts walking to the house but then realizes that it's not really a house and it's really a giant flesh- eating robot that's shaped like a house. Bob tried to run away, but he gets swallowed whole. He then wakes up and realizes that instead of being in giant robot's stomach, he was in hell. Bob then exclaims "I am in hell!". Then, bob sees a gun on the ground so he picks it up and starts to shoot people. Then he realizes that they're not really people but are really mutant zombie vampire dudes and demons so he still continues to shoot stuff. He then starts looking for a way out of hell and he sees a sign that says: "TO LEAVE HELL, GO THIS WAY! --->", So he follows the arrow on the sign. However, even more badguys come up and Bob says "Shit" and starts shooting, then he says "Shit" again and then he says "Shit" again and again and again for a really long time because this is really XASER'S SHiTWADS. Then, Bob says "This isn't hell, it's a game!" and he then starts trying to win the game, but he can't. Then Bob decides to use a lifeline, so he phones a friend (you) and when you pick the phone up, you and Bob suddenly switch places so now you have to get through Hell and find a way out. So our story begins. This is XASER'S SHiTWADS! (sic) =========================================================================== * What is included * New levels : 10 normal levels + 1 secret. Sounds : No Music : Yes Graphics : Yes (new textures) Dehacked/BEX Patch : Yes (a tiny one used to make the exits more user friendly) Demos : No Other : Yes (MAPINFO and maybe a few other Zdoom lumps.) Other files required : Latest version of ZDOOM. * Play Information * Game : DOOM2 Map # : MAP01-MAP10 + MAP00 Single Player : !Y!E!A!H! Cooperative 2-4 Player : Untested, but I suppose it would be all right (in a messed up sort of way). Deathmatch 2-4 Player : Untested, but I suppose it would be all right (in a messed up sort of way). Other game styles : Untested, but I suppose it would be all right (in a messed up sort of way). Difficulty Settings : Untested, but I suppose it wo... oops! Wrong sentence! No, but I suppose it would still be all right (in a messed up sort of way). =========================================================================== * Construction * Base : Levels are New from scratch! Textures are from just about everywhere. Build Time : Longer than I had hoped. Editor(s) used : Doom Builder, Wintex, XWE. Known Bugs : Well, there are some bugs, but they are completely intentional, since this is a joke mini-megawad. Also, you'll notice that when you exit a level, you die. THIS IS COMPLETELY INTENTIONAL!!! This was just a strange way to make you start from scratch at the beginning of each level. Just don't try to respawn right after you hit the exit switch, 'cause then you'll die. Also, if you use godmode, you will still keep your weapons into the next level, which is considered to be MAJOR CHEATING! May Not Run With... : Anything other than Zdoom =========================================================================== * Stupidity Rating * In the level descriptions, there is a stupidity rating. It works like this: 0-Normal level. Shouldn't be here. 1-Normal level with a hint of stupidity. 2-"Hey! he put too much stupid seasoning in the normal level!" 3-Moderately dumb. 4-Stupid level 5-1st wad!!!111oneone 6-Stupid level on crack 7-Stupid level on acid 8-Average MOCK2 level 9-MOCK2 on Steriods 10-motion.wad Description is enough for anybody. =========================================================================== * Levels * [LEVEL 1: SWITCHED] Level name : Switched Author : Trinity Story : YOUR IN a ROOM with BaDGuyS. YOU DNeed to kiILl all ofthe m adn hit a swich and kil mOR gYs and exit. Author's comments : My first level. Obviously not very good, but it's perfect for this occasion. Stupidity Rating : 7 [LEVEL 2: SPIRAL TOWER] Level name : Spiral Tower Author : Trinity Story : There is a big giant volcano mountain thingy that is threatening to kill everything so you need to kill it. Maybe you can stop and ask it for directions, too. Author's comments : Considerably better than MAP01, but the redwall theme is pretty eye-popping. Remember that some switches can be used more than once... Stupidity Rating : 5 [LEVEL 3: STOMACH] Level name : Stomach Author : Xaser Story : You accidentally got eated by an earthworm and now your in its stomach you have to find a way out befor you get digested and dead and sloppy and digested you have to find a way out befor you can eat lunch because the stomach is sick and makes you puke and vomit and throw up and you are hungry but you cant eat because the stomach is sick and makes you puke and vomit and throw up so you need to get out of the stomach. Author's comments : I started this map a LONG time ago, but I recently picked up work on it, and "finished" it. I hope this doesn't make too many people throw up. :) Stupidity Rating : 7 [LEVEL 4: TIMELINE] Level name : Timeline Author : Xaser Story : Somebody has insulted you when you were covered in worm shit after you got pooped out by the worm in map03. You have to kill him, but he's a cyberdemon and it's gonna be hard. Also, there is an evil timeline that will be bad if you shoot it so be careful. Author's comments : This was an early test for textures that I made a while back. I fixed it up a bit, adding a big secret and touching up the start area a bit. It's still pretty crazy, though. Stupidity Rating : 5 Special thanx to : Whoever made timeline.png. [LEVEL 5: TELEPORTATION STATION] Level name : Teleportation Station Author : Xaser Story : You gotta to teleport a lot. Author's comments : Remember TELEBASE.WAD? Now it's come back to haunt you! Stupidity Rating : 6 [LEVEL 6: DARE TO BE STUPID] Level name : Dare to be Stupid Author : Taranis Story : Some evil guy keeps shouting out directions BUT DONT LISTENTO HIM he is trying to trick yoU! I dare you to be stupid and do the OPPOSITE of whatever he says! DONT fail!?D./z;[]/12/3/ Author's comments : WARNING: The evil guy may not appreciate some of the things you do, and he may start cursing. :P Stupidity Rating : 8 [LEVEL 7: PLZ DIE, KTHX] Level name : Plz Die, Kthx Author : Xaser Story : Somebody wants you to die SO KILL HIM! He is in a abandoned LABoRAtOrey be careful there ARRE FAILED EXPERIMENTS EVERYwheRE! FINd him and KILl hiM! Author's comments : My second level. It's shit. It's shit. But it's fun! Stupidity Rating : 5 [LEVEL 8: TELEMAZE] Level name : Telemaze (on crack) Author : Taranis Story : You gotta to teleport a lotter than map05 THere are demoins anD chaingutys AND MORE you have to get through alive and then you can talk to your friend BOB but only after you beat map12 HAH THERE IS NO MAP12! I lied. it is really after map09 then you get HIS FACE?A//ro=2;[,63 . . . your mom Author's comments : You need to visit rooms 1-10 and step on the numbers in them. Next, shoot all 10 switches in room 0. Finally, go to ROOM X and get ready to FIGHT! Stupidity Rating : 6 [LEVEL 9: ASCENT] Level name : Ascent up the demon-infested MOUNT SHINANIGANS with only a pistol to start out with and 1000 BADGUTS blocking your way to the top and it's really hard and then you go IN the mountain which is really VOLCANO and get blown up JUST KIDDIGN and you have to diffuse a bomb and then go through a red building that says a bad word but the bomb still blows up JUST IN TIME FOR you to FACE a spIDER asdfter going up A ELEVATR and then you FALL REALLLLY FAR DOWN BUT YOu dont die and you get to kill a lottaguys that are glued together and kill them and then youget to kill a lottaguys that are glued together and kill them and kill them again AND THEN YOU GET TO GOTO THE EXIT BUt you really die but you still exit but you die at the same time so you have to start the NEXt tlevel with ONLY A PISTOL AND A HAND good luck this is the longest title for a doom level in the world do i get a medal OMG I GET 2 B IN THE GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS AND BE RICH AND FAMous except i don't get to be rich my real name is bob JUST KIDDIGN my real name is misty and it isnt at the same time okay ill STFU now if you give me a dollar thanks for the DOLLAR!STFU Author : Trinity Story : LET;S GO MoUNTIN CLIMBIG!@ Author's comments : The red theme again. :P At least this one is a tiny bit more serious than the last one. :P i like the :P Stupidity Rating : 4 [LEVEL 10: SINISTER FACE] Level name : Sinister Face Author : Xaser Story : YOU HAVE FOUND BOB BUT YOU ARE IN HIS FACE AND YOU WAND TO REVENGE FOR HIM MAKING YOU GO TO HELL SO YOU SAY "GO TO HELL" BUT BOB SAYS "YOU GOTTA KILL MY FACE AND STOMACH TO KILL ME HAHAHAHA" SO NOW YOU GOTTA KILL HIS FACE AND STOMACH TO KILL BOB HAHAHAHA! Author's comments : It's really hard and, um, it's really fun, too. Just be careful of those chaingun guys. Stupidity Rating : 8 [LEVEL 0: KILL STUFF] Level name : Kill Stuff Author : Xaser Story : You have found a secret level aAND YOU GET TO KILL STUFF Author's comments : This level is so secret, I can't tell you anything! Stupidity Rating : 1 (It's actually a pretty serious level.) =========================================================================== * Copyright / Permissions * Authors MAY use the contents of this file as a base for modification or reuse, if you are feeling rather crazy. You MAY distribute this file, provided you include this text file, with no modifications. You may distribute this file in any electronic format (BBS, Diskette, CD, etc) as long as you include this file intact. I have received permission from the original authors of any modified or included content in this file to allow further distribution. =========================================================================== * Where to get this * The Usual: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors Web sites: Check Doomworld's /newstuff Chronicles! FTP sites: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors The Usual: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors Web sites: Check Doomworld's /newstuff Chronicles! FTP sites: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors The Usual: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors Web sites: Check Doomworld's /newstuff Chronicles! FTP sites: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors The Usual: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors Web sites: Check Doomworld's /newstuff Chronicles! FTP sites: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors The Usual: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors Web sites: Check Doomworld's /newstuff Chronicles! FTP sites: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors The Usual: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors Web sites: Check Doomworld's /newstuff Chronicles! FTP sites: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors The Usual: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors Web sites: Check Doomworld's /newstuff Chronicles! FTP sites: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors The Usual: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors Web sites: Check Doomworld's /newstuff Chronicles! FTP sites: ftp://archives.3dgamers.com/pub/idgames/ and mirrors (sorry, my CTRL and V keys got stuck there. :P)